The winds of change

Some winds are a gale-force and some are a whisper.
I struggled working as a Grainger Customer Service rep for almost a year. The floors vibrated because of people walking and my MS didn't like it. I could only work part-time because of it. Even then, I would be dizzy everyday after work and needed a cane to walk around while working there. I was in a constant fog as I struggled with the dizziness and multi-tasking while trying to handle customers over the phone. I was miserable.
I'm happy to announce I got a new job at Grainger as a Cash Processing Administrator on the first floor! The floors shouldn't vibrate so I can work full time now!
I've already been in training for a week in Illinois and can already tell this new job is a better fit. I won't have to multi-task while on the phone either. All communications are done through the computer. Yay!! I had a blast getting to know my new coworkers...and some old ones. I still have more training to do, but I'm more hopeful than I have been in a while.

This is close to the Grainger building where I was training. pretty cool.

On to change number two. We have been trying to refinance this house for a while. Our last appraisal was depressing. This time around it looks good. We hope to start getting some major repairs done that are in critical status.
Change three might not even happen. I was suppose to start Ocrevus infusions last week but had to cancel it because I was in Illinois. I honestly don't know if I want to reschedule. I've read up on the side effects that can happened during the first 2 infusions that are a week apart. Most describe flu-like symptoms that can last a few days or even a month. It's suppose to go away and after that I would only have to have 2 infusions a year. These infusions are an immunosuppressant. Meaning it can adversely affect how I fight off illnesses. Upper respiratory infections being the most common. I have asthma. My respiratory system is already compromised. Do I take the risk? Plus, with this new job I really can't afford to be sick. For goodness sake, I had 3 relapses while on MS medication! Starting to have my doubts y'all!
There are other changes that are currently in the works. Zach is shopping for a car and hoping to move out soon. Sam is flourishing in school and making new friends. I've been on a spiritual journey that has me deep in the Word. I've been really excited to learn some Greek and Hebrew to understand the Bible and the context in which it was written. I feel like I'm reading the Bible for the first time again with a renewed fervor.
I thank the Lord for His presence during all theses changes.

My first MRA

So, I didn't mention this in the last post because I didn't want to freak people out until I had all the facts.

My doctors were concerned that I had suffered from a TIA stroke when I has my last episode. They didn't want me to fly until I got cleared and ordered a MRA to check my carotid artery. 

This was kind of a problem because I'm flying to CA tomorrow! So thankful I was able to find a place that was able to get me a MRA for today. They even got me a CD with all the images on it to take with me.

My doctors rushed the analysis and cleared me to fly. Phew!

So my last post title is correct, it was not a stroke. Just a freak MS thing.

I don't care what you say, this picture is freakin' cool! It so neat to see how my veins run through my body - well, brain, neck, and chest. I have lots more images but, just like someone's vacation photos, I'll spare you the boring ones.

latest MRI

MRI 7/13/17 Cerebellum

Had a MRI today. From what I can see on the scans there are new lesions.

The below picture shows my brain stem has a new lesion too. My balance has been really off lately and this is probably why.

Been comparing my 2016 MRIs and this is my best assessment. Of course, I will know more once my doctors review the images and let me know what they think.

No, It's not a stroke.

This is a blog that is long overdue. on June 22, 2017 I went to workout at the Y early in the morning like I usually do. I forgot my water bottle, but I did a vigorous routine anyway. After showering I had coffee and chatted with my friend, Marcia. I wasn't paying attention to how much coffee I was drinking. I started feeling dizzy and Marcia walked me to my car and made me promise to let her know if I made it home safely. I figured it was just from hunger so after getting home and informing Marcia I was fine; I ate some breakfast. The dizziness wasn't going away but I figured as long as I was sitting I would be fine. To be on the safe side Zach drove me to work.  I didn't last long there.

The bouncy area that I sit in can ramp up any MS symptoms I am having and I started to spiral pretty quickly. I sent my manager and her back up a message that I wasn't feeling too great. Andrea (the back-up manager) came over and asked what was going on. As I was explaining how I was feeling I started loosing the ability to speak. then my hands started to become weak. She said she wanted to contact the emergency response crew and remove me from the call center. She had to hold me up because my legs were starting to give out too and I could barely hold on to my cane.

In a conference room two of the emergency guys joined us. I was really struggling to talk, so Andrea got me a pad of paper and a pen but with my weak hands writing wasn't easy either. Sign Language was the best option, so I asked if anyone knew Sign. One guy boasted that he knew sign. I was thrilled! So, I started signing. and his eyes got as big as saucers. So I slowed down and condensed my signs. I could tell he still wasn't getting it. So much for that. We got a hold of Zach and had him pick me up.

Zach drove us home first to get Samantha and then the three of us went to Urgent Care. I figured it was just an episode that needed time to go away, but Zach was insistent I get checked out. Zach took care of the front desk stuff and paperwork while Samantha was my interpreter. Out of the two she knows more sign and can pickup on the signs she doesn't know yet...usually. They ended up sending me to the ER.

At the ER they ran a battery of tests including a CAT scan. Mostly, they needed to rule out that I wasn't having a stroke. While being wheeled to the CAT scan room I felt my hands were getting stronger and by the time I got back to my room my speech was starting to come back. About a half hour later most of my symptoms were gone. By the time I went home I was back to normal.

So, what did I learn from this? Coffee is no longer an option anymore. I think Marcia would slap it out of my hand if she saw me even try to drink some.
I also think a certain gentleman learned not to claim he knew Sign when, in fact, he did not.

Retinal Specialist and psychologist

It has been an eventful day. My friend, Kimberly Holmes, drove me and Sam to Madison for our appointments. My appointment with the retina specialist went really well. He said the cyst in my right eye was unlike anything they've seen before, but now it's mostly gone and they are scratching their heads! Praise Jesus!! 

Then, I find out Kimberly's van battery died. She had trouble getting people to help her. Finally, Someone was gracious enough to give us a jump and we went on to our next appointment - Sam's dyslexia appointment! She's super thrilled. As you can tell!

Today's appointment for Sam was mostly a meet and greet with the psychologist. Basically, they just want to make sure that it really is dyslexia and not a behavioral problem. So Sam had to answer around 40 questions about things like how she handles situations, drugs, family life, etc. Next appointment Sam will have to take a 3 hour test for dyslexia. It will be brutal and stressful.

Where to go from here?

I took a week medical leave from work to work out if I can hold a job with my new visual disability. I noticed my reading ability has been hampered. It takes me longer to read now and I already was a slow ready because of dyslexia and my damaged left eye. Add in the scotoma maculopathy of my right eye and reading is a bit grueling.
It's like having a chip in middle of one of the lenses in your glasses. Yeah, it's annoying, but you can see around it and, in general, you can ignore it. Until, you need to see things in detail like reading. Then that small chip, that was so easy to ignore before, becomes prominent. The difference is, with a chip in your glasses as you move your eye past it you can see. My "chip" follows every where I look. It seems to get in the way of the first letter of every word. If the font is big enough my brain can fill in what the word is, but that takes extra time and energy. It's exhausting if done for a long period of time. Can I manage a job with this new hindrance? I honestly, don't know. I've been praying a lot and have been prayed for by others. Can work accommodate for this? Is there even a way to accommodate for this?

I'll never see things the same way again.

Since Sunday I've been struggling with what I thought was a visual aura.  But, as days past and the aura wasn't going away and I never got a migraine my neurologist was worried that is was something more serious and wanted me to see an ophthalmologist asap.

So They put me through a bunch of test. Some before dilating my pupils and some after.

Sam says I look creepy with dilated pupils.

The conclusion? I have a lesions in my eye. Let me try and break this down.

This is a picture of my left eye. Sure, it has it's problems, like a lazy eye and astigmatism but it doesn't have a lesion. 

Now, here is a picture of my right eye with it's new fancy lesion. Can you see the difference? It has a dip. That is bad. That is what is causing my vision problems.

Here is another view for a different test. This one is a little harder to see. Where the arrow is it should be a darker pink perfectly circular area. If you notice, it has this lighter pink area with a tint of orange chunk in it. That is the lesion.

Such a small thing to cause so much trouble.

According to the ophthalmologist, this new development has nothing to do with MS. My doctor said I was just that lucky. Yes, she said that. Also, there is a pretty good chance that this is permanent. They scheduled me to see a retina specialist in April to see of there are any changes and to run more tests.

This thing makes reading difficult. My job is to read a computer screen. Even if it is for only 4 hours, it's exhausting and I don't know if I can do it everyday. I got a letter to excuse me from work for the next week, but then what? My doctor said I may just get used to it. I pray that it will either go away or I will be able to work around it.  Only time will tell.